Wild Thoughts: Try even if I fail?

Happy Sunday Lovelies,


Its been a long time since I've posted anything. Life has been very busy to say the least. I have just been thinking alot about life and the direction I would like to go, what I can do to get there and how I can positively push myself to achieve my dreams.

Lately, i have to admit, that I have been feeling a little down and unmotivated because I feel so miserable at the place where I currently am. I hate my job but if I quit, is my business enough to get me to where I need to be? What do I do? Who can I talk to?

I have tried to talk to friends but I think I will just sound like a broke record because I have been saying the same things for the past three years! THREE YEARS!! It has only been so long because i am very conflicted. I know deep within myself that I am not made to work for other people for the rest of my life. I know that I cant do it.

My problem is that i am very scared. Can I really do this? Then I make a list of all the things I need to quit before I quit my terrible job. But on the other had, the list of things that I will need will never EVER end. I have told myself time and time again maybe I need another job.

Every once in a while i google search different things like 'Becoming a successful entrepreneur', 'being an entrepreneur and having a fully time job', So that i can have some perspective or even some advice on my next step.What I have learned about most entrepreneurs is that they take risks with their businesses whether big or small. There is something inside of them that they  know they rather try and fail than not try at all.

That is the thing that scares me most, the not trying. I cant seem to reach that net step. Then i have convos with myself. Should i just get a next job. Knowing full well that even if i like it, it will become monotonous, and boring and i will hate it and i will just want to quit like the one before that.
Then my thinking is a whole cycle. Almost every day I end up complaining that I want a job but never really taking the effort to send out applications to everywhere else. Because I know deep within myself that working for myself is the ultimate goal.

That was my rant for todday, thanks for listening! Feel free to comment!!

xoxo Kei